Cold Brew Coffee

I am addicted to coffee and have been for several years now. I forced myself into this addiction. I hated coffee until I got my first real job and people would have “coffee meetings” where important shit would go down and I had to learn how to order coffee in a way that didn’t taste like coffee to me. Which was in the form of lattes. Which are fucking expensive.

Eventually, I transitioned to fancy coffee with fancy creamers when I started a job at a startup company. It was free and available in the office all fucking day. When I moved to another position at a difference startup, we were next door to a Starbucks and I became a Gold Member within like, 2 months. Not super financially sound, but fucking delish and at the point, a daily necessity.

Then when I made the bold decision to start a low-paid apprenticeship, which you can read all about here, I could no longer afford to buy fancy coffee and like a goddamn peasant, had to start making it at home.

I’ve never been a fan of hot coffee and though I discovered you could get Starbucks cold brew coffee at the grocery store, it was still too expensive for me so I started making my own cold brew at home and I never looked back. My splurge is on Silk Almond Milk Vanilla Creamer (which is the best shit ever) and sometimes fancy ground coffee but really, I can’t tell between a $3 Trader Joe’s bag of coffee and a $20 bag somewhere else. But hey, that’s just me.

I found a bomb-ass recipe for it that is super easy and delish.

So you’ll need a pitcher, your favorite coffee, and water. Easy as fuck. If you can ground the coffee yourself because you go to a fancy-ass grocery store, try to ground it as coarsely as possible. This helps brew stronger coffee if that’s what you’re in to.

Measure out 1 cup of ground coffee to add to the pitcher. This is some ratio-type shit so feel free to adjust as you like it. For me, I double-double down the ratio – meaning, for 1 cup of coffee, I add 8 cups of water. Mostly because I usually forget about the coffee on the counter for 12 hours or more. If you like your coffee super strong, use less water or more coffee or whatever. Mix it up to work for you.

Now the easy part: just cover it and leave it on the counter.

Seriously, you can basically forget it. I usually make it before bed and leave in on the counter overnight. Eight hours is good to shoot for but honestly, I don’t even start work until 10am usually, so you can leave it up to 12 hours. It’s fine (probably).

Once its steeped for long enough, you filter it out, just like normal fucking coffee. I have these mesh strainers that are amazing that I got on Amazon. They work super well. I place a coffee filter in the mesh strainer and filter that way. Yeah, I know that that seems tedious, but seriously having coffee grounds in your coffee is the worst, so I don’t fuck around.

It takes some time, but it’s worth it. The coffee will last for a week (or more, but I drink it fast) and tastes delicious. I use a cutesy glass mason jar dispenser like this one, but feel free to use whatever kind of pitcher you have.

And that’s it. Enjoy, my fellow caffeine addicts.